Marriage, what is the debate about anyway?

I find it so funny that the debate of gay marriage always seems to be in the hands of those that are not in the least affected by it. That is especially true in the recent discussions regarding the issue in the US and as always the religious right is at the forefront. The majority of of this group believe it is the end of the family and an attack on their way of life. Society will suffer! Please!

It will not affect them at all if they are indeed straight. They will continue to marry, they will continue to reproduce and they will continue to divorce all on their own. Whether men can marry men and women can marry women will not change that. Canada is the perfect example of the fact that society will not crumble, marriage will not end and the sky won't fall.

Yes, heterosexuals have had the opportunity to do it for as long as anyone can remember. It is hard to give up the idea that you are some how superior because you have been born a certain way and should have the privilege that comes along with that. After all society as we know it has always provided a special positioning to those that have taken the leap into marriage.

Once you are married and have proven to be “stable” I believe the climb up the corporate ladder seems more accessible, partly because of the social status that comes with being married. After all you know that married couples tend to want to socialize more with other married couples. At least that is how I’ve witnessed things from both the perspective of a single person and a married person. Success in business comes mostly from networking and if you are already part of the club, the doors open just a little bit easier in to those offices of power.

Now, I’m not saying that all gays want marriage either. I have read things where it takes away the special type of cult status for many and they don’t feel the need or want to take part in the customs of straight society. However, I find this extremely annoying that this group of gays wants to have their beliefs stop other gays from getting married. After all, it just comes down to allowing those, whether you are gay or straight, from just making up their own mind about the situation.

Why don’t we just stop trying to push our beliefs on others? Be religious, get married have kids if you want. Be as gay as you want, march, have sex with more than one person and don’t by in to the social customs of the day. Whatever you want to be, believe what you need to, just don’t try to decide what others can do with their lives, how they can love and how they decide to express that love, whether it is marriage or some other sort of commitment. Lets just stop and let everyone love the way that best suits them.

What evolution?

What drives us to do things that aren’t necessarily good for us and in some ways can be self destructive? There is a list as long as there are people in the world. Just think about it, we as humans have habits such as over eating, drinking too much, smoking, drugs, sex. All things that drive us to do things that aren’t necessarily good for us. Even war, there are some areas in the world where war and violence seems to be a habit. Why do we as the human race engage in these kinds of things?
We should all know that the outcome of abusing these activities. It doesn’t leave us feeling better. We get sick, we destroy relationships and lives and most often we are left with more guilt then we can possibly handle. If so, then why? Is it that we have an animal type instinct in us that pushes us forward to do the act with the option of ignoring the outcome? Is it pleasure, ego or some other void that we are trying to fill?
So many questions and I guess there is a whole industry based on trying to fix or control these activities, but it really is something so interesting to comprehend. Thousands of years of people making the same mistakes and still we have not evolved to a place where we no longer do the things we should not do. Hmm…I feel like a snack.

Clutter be gone!

It is early Saturday morning. The sun is shining. I’m sitting in my office enjoying my first cup of coffee of the day. My fantastic dogs are at my feet and in a little while my husband will wake. We are going to spend the morning clearing our home of clutter.
Szejn has been talking about this activity for a while now. He is convinced that having too much stuff around you ways down the mind. At first I didn’t agree, but I’m slowly converting to his way of thinking. The more that I’ve thought about the idea, the more I realize that clutter around you does affect you.
It is as if all those things, silently lurking in the peripheral of your being does some how cause your mind to have to process more. It is therefore less available to focus, to relax and just be calm. What a better reason for the removal of clutter than just the need for peace.

Where are you going to be in 10 years?

Most people would think this would refer to their career, and of course that does encompass part of that question, but beyond just career, where would you want to be? In asking that of myself, I had a shock of excitement and nervousness. Where do I want to be? What kind of person would I like to evolve in to?

I think I like the second question more than the first. After all, I would like to think I will be in a position where I’m very content with who I am and how I look. I want to love and I want to be loved. I want to be respected. I want to be a good person who cares about people and things. I want to be more concerned with the present, than worried about the future. To actually fully feel every moment, be observant of what is around me. To be focused on stopping to smell the roses over rushing to get to the end of the garden path.

Maybe that is why when we get older, our bodies force us to slow down. Maybe then and only then can we move at a pace where we focus and enjoy the smallest things, like sitting on a bench and taking in the smell of fresh cut grass or the fragrances flowing from a garden. Maybe understanding happiness can be the enjoyment of the sun from the coolness of the shade of a large tree.

Okay, granted, that picture is a little farther out than 10 years for me, but I think the idea of being more content and present is certainly a good place to be. That is the kind of place I would like to evolve to while all the while feeling love and happiness as much is available to any one person.

The path not taken...

How does someone know when he or she has reached a crossroads? What does that mean? Could we quickly go down the wrong path without evening knowing that choices were present? After all, sometimes when you are driving and distracted you may find yourself at home without remembering the twists and the turns that made up a journey home.
What about life? How do we engage so that we don’t make the little decisions each day that might lead us down a different path, the wrong path, or maybe not even the wrong path, but rather just missing out on the most optimal path. After all, no one wants to miss out on the best life, the most exciting life possible. The perfect life where someone looks back on their deathbed and says I did everything I wanted, I regret nothing, and I’ve had the best experience available to me.
As I’m getting the older, I think the best way to experience the perfect way for me is to really get to understand whom I am. What makes me happy? What do I enjoy? How do I get the best experience out of life? I think part of this includes understanding my values. What do I hold true and how do I unsure my daily existence doesn’t conflict with my values.
To understand my values, I had to understand my choices. What are values? It seems like a very simple thing, but I’m sure that when asked, most people wouldn’t even know what to say. To do a bit of a discovery of what my values are, I’ve done a little review of the web and have come up with the following:
- Having a sense of humour
- Having enough time for myself
- Being free to do what I want
- Embracing diversity (understanding and accept cultures and individual and group differences)
- Having a feeling of tranquility
- Having good self-esteem
- Using my imagination
- Being creative
- Receiving credit for my work
- Having financial security
- Value the arts
- Being respected and valued
Once a person knows their values, I believe they have to keep them present with every choice that a person makes. This will, I’m starting to believe, is how a person can help navigate their path so they really do live the optimal life.